


Victory

by LoverOfFanfiction



Category: Naruto
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Canon Universe, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-07-22 19:59:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19988272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoverOfFanfiction/pseuds/LoverOfFanfiction
Summary: Victory was everything Sasuke strived for. But when he stared down at Naruto's pale face, sword gripped tight in his hand, he had to admit that sometimes victory felt empty.He fell to his knees instead, kneeling next to the breathing body as he stabbed the ground with his sword. He couldn't do it. He simply loved him too much.





	Victory

**Author's Note:**

> Oh boy. This idea just came to me out of nowhere and I simply couldn't do anything else before I'd written it. 
> 
> The scene happens sometime in the far future after a very different kind of war that's never happened in canon, heh. Hope you'll enjoy it! <3
> 
> Beta-ed by the lovely _Myhoniahaka_.

Sasuke liked to win.

But when he stared down at Naruto's motionless body, face swollen shut with his eyes closed, skin sticky and covered with blood, it felt like a hollow victory.

He had won as he always did. At the cost of losing the last person he would ever care for, the last person he would ever love. He had won.

He should feel relieved, happy even, but the emptiness inside of him only gaped further, ripped itself farther apart to make room for one more death.

Not that Naruto was dead yet. His breathing was shallow, weak, body littered with so many injuries he'd passed out from the pain. His demon hadn't been enough to defeat Sasuke. His resolve hadn't been enough to save Sasuke.

With his sword gripped tight in his hand, Sasuke lowered the tip to Naruto's throat.

It was a hollow victory, but it was a victory. Since the massacre of his clan, since the truth of Itachi's sacrifice had been revealed, Sasuke knew he would never be free of the pain that haunted him to every corner of the earth. His clan was dead, his home village was filled with traitors and his team had been dissolved. There was truly no reason for Sasuke to live on but still, he couldn't fight the urge to keep living, to hang onto the pain as atonement for failing to destroy Konoha, for failing to avenge everyone.

The sword hadn't pierced Naruto's skin yet. Sharp, ready, it waited for his final move to penetrate the enticing throat and finally be the only one left. But his fingers gripped tighter still, shaking with the force as his arm was too weak to lower.

He had been so many things throughout his life. A victim, an avenger, a traitor. He was never just Sasuke. He was never just another victim of the corrupt system. To them, he would always be the crazy Uchiha with the sharingan, the Uchiha who had murdered people left and right because he was insane. He would always be seen as a threat towards the fragile peace the villagers so desperately believed in.

But now he was just Sasuke who couldn't kill Naruto.

He stabbed the ground next to Naruto's head, fell to his knees next to the still body with hands clinging to the sword hilt.

Naruto was the only one who had ever treated him kindly, the only one who treated him as a friend, a rival, a person. Even as weakened as he was, he would look up at Sasuke with a determined glint in his eyes, declaring that they should return home.

But Sasuke didn't have a home. Not anymore. And the only person he wanted to build that with was so blindingly loyal to the traitors who had killed everyone he loved, which meant that Sasuke would never be able to settle, would never be able to receive the retribution he longed for. Because no matter his overwhelming hatred for Konoha, he couldn't bear to one day see the pain in Naruto's eyes once he realized that Sasuke had killed everyone he loved.

He stared at Naruto's pale face. The desire to reach out and caress the bloody skin itched in his fingers like a bug bite. He knew his love for the other man went beyond just a simple sense of familiarity, companionship. Every time those blue eyes looked at him with care, something shifted in his core, became lighter, banished the darkness that had taken hold of his soul. Often he had toyed with the thought of one day brushing his lips against Naruto's, to see if the blond could breathe life into him. But it would always remain a silly notion, a yearning for something he would never allow himself to have.

No one could ever love someone like him.

A furrow at the eyebrows was the first indication that Naruto was starting to wake. Sasuke straightened his back, tried to school his expression and throw everything back to the darkness. But when Naruto opened his eyes, low, painful groans spilling from his lips as he felt the extent of Sasuke's damages, his blue eyes turned to Sasuke's. And softened.

And Sasuke felt his eyes flood with tears.

It was useless to hide them from Naruto but he still shut his eyes tight and turned away, unable to show how truly weak he was when even his hands left the sword hilt to fall. Tears silent, dropping from his cheeks and spilling droplets on the ground, he heard Naruto shuffling closer, grunting as he moved. When the hand first landed on his cheek, thumb trying to dry the tears, Sasuke bit his lip to prevent the sobs from escaping his chest.

"Sasuke," Naruto hushed, his other hand coming to turn Sasuke's head towards him. His other thumb stayed to dry away the constant stream of tears. When he stayed silent, Sasuke dared slipping his eyes open. And despite the painful strain Naruto endured, clearly illustrated by his shaking figure, he only stared back at Sasuke with that softness in his eyes.

It made him feel like someone was stealing his breath, cruelly watching him suffocate as the air in his lungs burned. Naruto shouldn't stare at him like that, shouldn't give him hope to something that could never be. They would always remain friends but that was all they could ever be.

When the tears eventually fell slower, Naruto had a lengthy stride of sweat gathering on his brows, body shaking so horribly he'd had to let his hands fall. Sasuke own face felt stiff with dried tears, body so exhausted both from the fight but now also the emotional display he'd put on.

Naruto laid down again, relief flashing over his face when he no longer strained himself. But his blue eyes kept looking at Sasuke's onyx, still so filled with care that Sasuke wished he didn't have to leave. But he'd failed the task he'd set for himself, failed in killing the only person he had left and now there was nothing left to do.

He grabbed the sword hilt and made to stand, feet quickly finding purchase on the unsteady rocks.

Naruto would live on in Konoha. He would settle with a family, someone he could love, and they would have children that Naruto would love with all his heart. And Sasuke would keep moving, keep away from the traitors, keep away from ever hurting Naruto despite how much it hurt him in return.

He turned on his heel to leave.

"Wait!" Naruto tried to call, but his voice was so rough from all the shouting during the battle that it fell hoarse. "Sasuke, wait!" But Sasuke didn't wait, only kept himself moving. If an eternity of misery was all that was left for him, he'd rather have that now than ever know what it felt like to feel differently.

But it was still the whisper that made him stop.

"... _please_."

He glanced back, noticed the glimmering tears in Naruto's own eyes, and felt his stomach drop. A familiar guilt clawed its way back at the sight of those tears falling.

"Please don't leave already."

He had made Naruto cry.

" _Please_."

His feet dragged him hastily back to where he'd left him, sword falling to the ground with a dull clang as he dropped to kneel next to him. The tears were smearing the blood on his face, painting his face pink. Sasuke's pale fingers shakily reached out to his tearful face but ended up falling short. If he had this moment, if his fingers ever made contact, he would never be able to let go.

They lingered by the tan fingers instead, tentatively ghosting them along Naruto's twitching fingers without ever landing.

"Please stay," Naruto begged, and his warm hand clamped onto Sasuke's. Unwillingly, a thrill shot through him, an exhale as Naruto gripped his hand tighter. "Just for a moment."

He looked up from the entwined fingers.

Naruto was an ugly crier. Snot was falling from his nose, clinging near the tip and smearing to his bloodied skin. His face was locked in a grimace that bordered on looking painful, baring his teeth as sobs escaped his lips. But then again, Naruto had always worn his emotions on a sleeve, so it didn't surprise Sasuke at all that his crying was so obvious as well.

He just didn't understand _why_ it happened.

"Why are you crying?" Sasuke spoke, voice only a low timber. Naruto briefly shook his head, trying to push himself up on an elbow, but Sasuke pushed him down with a firm hand to his chest. He let it remain for a brief moment, lingering by the heartbeat he could feel beneath his fingertips.

"I don't want you to go," Naruto said, only clinging tighter onto his hand until it bordered on painful. Sasuke ignored it.

"You know I can't stay," he replied, causing more tears to fall from Naruto's eyes.

"I know," he said, voice cracking. "But I'm not ready to see you leave."

He felt his own expression soften, eyebrows moving from each other as they gazed down at Konoha's hero. His headband was gone, fallen to the side. He could've been with Sasuke, on the move. Away from the village that used to hate him just as venomously.

But Naruto stayed, kept doing missions, kept spending time with his friends, kept making it harder for himself to ever escape their grasps.

But he also kept finding Sasuke, kept gearing up to a fight in the hopes that Sasuke would lose so he could drag him back. But Naruto never won, and Sasuke always left before he awoke.

It was a measly habit. One that Sasuke had tried to end today. He feared the day Naruto would win and drag him back bloody.

He never wanted to come back, would sooner die than step foot in that village.

"Go home," Sasuke murmured, lightly moving his trapped hand, but Naruto clamped down tight on it, fighting his way to an elbow again.

"Why won't you just _come home_?" he spoke, pain lacing his voice. "It's not the Konoha you know. It's changed." His eyes were so earnest, so heartbreaking to watch, but Sasuke also knew he was a naive, headstrong fool. Konoha hadn't changed. It never would. The Council was still alive and they would demand his execution for when he'd killed Danzo all those years ago.

"I don't have a home."

He wrenched his hand free, watched the despair cross Naruto's face before he hid it behind a shaky smile.

"Of course you do," he said, still caught in the illusion he'd been caught in for _years._ Despite their many fights, despite their many meetings and everything they'd ever been through, Naruto never learned. And Sasuke was so tired of it.

"I'm leaving," he said, speaking on an exhale.

"Already? But—"

"No," he interrupted, looking down at his shaking hands. "I'm _leaving_ the Elemental Nations." It was something he'd decided to do once he'd killed Naruto. No one knew what lied beyond the seas but he hardly thought it could be worse than here. He could start over, live the rest of his life alone in misery without worrying about bounty hunters or ANBU.

"Wha—" Naruto's voice was hoarse, rough, and when Sasuke spared him a glance, he noticed that his tears had halted. "W-what do you mean?"

This was supposed to be their final meeting.

"I..."

It was hard to look Naruto in the eyes then, knowing that he would never be able to see them again. He didn't want the last view to be Naruto's tears, Naruto's pain. It was better if he'd never told him anything.

"What do you _mean?_ " Naruto repeated, anger coloring his voice as he pushed himself, breath falling heavier. Sasuke couldn't find his voice.

He looked down at his hands again, nails picking at each other as the guilt came back to claim him. Naruto moved, slow, but fought his way until he was even closer to Sasuke. He noticed the hand that edged closer to his face, lingering but just shy of touching him, and restrained himself from leaning into the non-existent touch.

"Will you ever come back?"

Sasuke quietly shook his head. There was nothing to come back for, only Naruto. But the never-ending dance was wearing him down. A lifetime of misery, but maybe Sasuke could find something in another place that made it more bearable. Naruto would never be his anyway, and he doubted he would ever love another.

The Uchiha curse would end with him and then his family could finally rest.

Naruto had dried his face once he glanced at him again. But it was even worse.

His eyes had dulled, mouth downturned and face so empty it sent shivers down his spine. This was how he made Naruto feel. Pain, and misery. It was all he was ever able to make anyone feel.

But Naruto leaned closer when he noticed the glance, an empty smile caressing his lips. This time, when his tanned hand came up to his cheek, it stayed, lingered softly on his skin. He couldn't stop himself from leaning into it, eyes dropping as he covered the hand with his own.

How was he ever supposed to leave Naruto? His death would have been the answer, his motivation to disappear. But it was so relieving to feel the pain dull, to let his senses sharpen in on the blond and his touch and imagine that it meant as much to him as it did to Sasuke.

"I don't want you to go," Naruto whispered, breath falling on Sasuke's lips. He yearned for those lips to land on his, to feel the pressure just once and have a first and final taste of him. If his eyes remained closed, maybe he could remain in the belief that Naruto really was about to kiss him.

But then his breath stuttered in a soft inhale as Naruto's lips brushed lightly against his. Wildfire ran hot through his body, figure shaking so violently he feared it would make Naruto stop.

The touch was barely present, barely a kiss.

Too quickly the contact broke, Naruto's hand making a move to fall.

But Sasuke couldn't bear for it to end now, couldn't bear for it to only remain as brief as the wind. So he crushed their lips together in a proper kiss, inhaled the gasp that left Naruto's mouth. He nearly cried out in relief when the blond slowly kissed him back, finally pressing his lips properly against his.

Their mouths kept meeting in repeated kisses, breaths heavier as they were forced to breathe through their noses. Lacing his fingers into Naruto's hair, dragged him closer, he was uncaring of the injuries he suffered as he hungrily devoured everything Naruto was willing to give him. Unable to part with Naruto for more than a few seconds, desperation clung to Sasuke. He'd never felt more exhilarated as he did now, never more full of life.

He edged his tongue along the seams of Naruto's lips, recklessly seeking to deepen the kiss. And hesitantly, Naruto complied.

He couldn't fathom why he'd never done this before.

Every shaky inhale, every low grunt and eventual moan Naruto gave was making him dizzy, drunk. His fingers clutched tightly to his blond strains, pressing closer as he feared the moment Naruto would gain his senses and move away from Sasuke's touch.

But in the end, it was the need to breathe that separated them.

Inches from each other, panting into each other's mouths, they were locked in a near-embrace as Naruto's own hands had snuck onto his back and clutched onto his clothing. Sasuke rested his forehead against Naruto's, unwilling to open his eyes and break the moment. This was what he had to leave behind now.

And everything in him was screaming for him to stay.

"Sasuke, _please_ ," Naruto whispered, anguish squeezing his heart as he listened. "Please just stay here, just for a little while." He couldn't do that, would never leave if he did.

Naruto was slowly starting to cry again. Ugly sobs that came from deep within his chest pushed out by the crushing sorrow he felt.

" _Please_ ," Naruto begged again, separating their foreheads to stare at him. "You can leave af-afterwards but- but please just let me sp-spend time with you before then."

Sasuke had to look away again for fear of succumbing to his own grief.

" _Please_ ," Naruto repeated, hands gripping tighter on his clothes. "Just- just one day. Or- or an hour. _Please_." Sasuke closed his eyes again, fingers still entwined in Naruto's hair.

He should've known it was a mistake to turn back the moment he heard Naruto call out the first time. There was no way he was able to resist the desperate begging Naruto had been reduced to, _begging_ that _Sasuke_ had reduced him to.

And now they'd kissed. Something Sasuke hadn't let himself do because he knew he would never let go once he'd had a taste. And he couldn't let go. Not anymore.

"Okay," he whispered, feeling a stone drop from his heart. If this was relief, he didn't recognize it. He had just doomed himself to experience more pain, but if it had to last a lifetime, he might as well indulge in it now.

"What?" Naruto spoke, voice shaking. "You—you'll do it?"

"Yes," Sasuke whispered, fingers locking tighter in his locks. He opened his eyes again, stared directly into Naruto's tearful blue. "I will."

And those drops fell from Naruto's eyes again in a rapid stream, lips stretched in a grateful smile as his body came closer to embrace Sasuke tight.

"Thank you," Naruto said, sobbing and wailing with such relief he sounded like a wounded beast. " _Thank you_ ," he repeated.

And it was words he didn't stop saying for a long, long time.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think! :D


End file.
